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Toilets

Talking about them is even a no-go. Travel with a group of more than 50 people and you will notice how differently that topic is treated in that case and how much you need to think about it. Anyway: The worst is the one with the sensors for the light. I wonder how much money you safe by giving peeing people only 2 minutes for their business. There is the category, which only requires you to get up during your time being and wave your arms to have light again. All that is already not so easy, considering having your pants down on your knees and neatly folded toilet paper, ready for its purpose, in your hands. The worst is the one, where the light sensors are located outside of your cabin. Now you have several possibilities: Whipe your ass in darkness, hoping to do it exactely enough to have it ready for your trousers to be pulled up, or you hope, nobody is entering the toilet, while you open the door with your cloths down. If nobody is coming, just jump and dance around a little to make the light turn on again. Sometimes that action needs to be repeated, in order to be able to finish up. Always take a torch to the toilet. Or at least your smartphone, fully charged with the torch app on it. Sometimes there is no sensor and the light turns off anyway. That is ruther unfortunate, as you need to make your way right to the entrance to turn it on again.

 

Dog on the toilet
Dog on the toilet

The Pidet is a funny thing too. Sometimes confused with a toilet, but definitely more hygienic than paper. I was told, that people see them as an opportunity to share their intime minutes by sitting side by side, when doing the unavoidable.

 

The toilets without seat, the ones having a hole in the ground, which you find especially in southern Europe, are more hygienic too. Well, really? Why? Just imagine how the toilet seats sometimes look, when people, men and women the same, get rid of their beer, standing. It can be fitness though, if it simply takes you longer to get away with your steak of the night before, which seems to be heavy, hard and sticky. The white wine, which came with the steak, spills over your legs and the pants are soaking the digested Gin Tonic of the toilet user before you. Now you are done, your legs burning. Make sure, you are ready to escape as soon as possible, after having pulled the rope for flushing. It wouldn’t have occured just once, that the whole cabin was full of water after having pulled the chain. Believe me!: It just prevents your freshly shined designer shoes from being covered with that brown-yellow sauce. And of course: As there rarely is a hanger, leave your handbag outside, to avoid disasters!

 

Poo holding paper
Poo holding paper
Suit against toilet smell?!?
Suit against toilet smell?!?

You might be seduced thinking, that a toilet seat, which cleans itself, once used, is the best solution. Forget about it: Just the contrary: They rarely work. As former clients would have relied on the technology, they are even worse. They behave like disposable ones.

 

 

 

A favourite is the hybride toilet. It can be found in the middle of nowhere in Australia. In the outback there might be nothing to any direction, but one of these toilets. They consist of a hole beneath, combined with water flush for making your arts disappear discreatly into darkness.

 

 

 

Sometimes compromise can’t be avoided: On a small ship you will simply have to put the paper in a bag to avoid polluting the ocean or lake even more.

 

Now a less disgusting experience: The hand-washing machine: You put your hands into some sort of box, under something you can’t see and just don’t move: Soap is the first step. Then probably distribute it a bit over your hands, as water is next. Hurry up, because there is not going to be much time. Leave your hands where they are, because the hand dryer turns on next. When it is done pull your hands out quickly, before the sensor generates another portion of soap for you.

 

Any business spends so much money to find new customers. They employ communication specialists for their web pages, social media specialists for advertising on any existing social media, advertise on posters, on airports, sponsor within sports. They spend thousands and more for beautiful ponds in front of their buildings, for furniture to make their restaurant or hotel more attractive. Then they safe on toilet paper. It is mainly too thin, or the towels are so bad, that you‘d rather get toilet paper to try your hands. Soap is rare, you need to beg for water, as the automatic sensors only give you a very limited quantity. All that seems so greedy, that the customer subconsciously decides to try a different restaurant next time. The worst marketing is the restaurant owner, who shooks you away for good, because you are not a customer yet and therefore have no right to use her or his toilet. Wow. How much was the paper? For sure, even in combination with the water and the soap, never as much as he or she spends for TV spots for his or her business. I was already there! Wanted to have a drink AFTER my little business with washed hands! Having lost me and anyone else I would have dragged to that place over the months.

 

 

I got the opposite impression in Bali.The water for flushing the toilet comes from a hose you need to operate yourself. There is no toilet paper, because the habbit of the inhabitants is to use the water hose for that purpose. Everything was clean, people would help you using the toilet, by explaining the usage, before you go there. Friendliness makes you feel home and the feeling, that they try everything they can, to give you a good time.

 

 

 

A little thing like that definitely has a much bigger effect, than you would ever imagine. You spend some time out there, finally with yourself, or probably with your smartphone, having time to think. You think about that very place, you probably hold your scarf, so it stays right on your nose and wonder, if you ever come back to that very location.

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